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TIME, and more of it PLS

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We all hear the phrase “it just takes time.” It’s a common phrase that is used to get us through any bad situation really. Most phrases that are “as old as the hills” (my mom’s favorite) seem to lose their meaning when overused.

But it really reigns true. Everything just takes time. And that idea and phrase goes hand in hand with the belief that everything is temporary. It may be easy to overlook, or hard to really focus on, but every moment is temporary. That’s why we always have a second chance (in a way, not if you really screwed up), but remembering that every situation and emotion is temporary-can be extremely freeing. That isn’t to say to relish and revel in the glory days that are among us, but it is to remember when we feel the world crashing in around us.

We have felt the lowest of lows and the high highs, but we have the power to look back on them in a lighter and more knowledgable perspective. We have the power to let our emotions take all the willpower from us for a small period of time, but it is crucial we don’t let that emotion become us. We don’t have to be gloomy from that missed text or job rejection for the whole day, but allowing the proper time to grieve is as important as moving away from it.

When I am down in the dumps (another phrase but it works here) I try to see the positive or long lasting affect of the moment. Side note: sometimes I read other people’s blog posts (I’m not hating by the way) but it does seem like people project themselves in the most positive, ethereal light. And of course, why wouldn’t they? But I’m not perfect. I don’t always smile when I’m really fucking angry. Sometimes it really does take the whole day. But when it’s something little or something that I can handle, I try to see the situation from both sides. I don’t give the upper hand to either side, because everyone is entitled to feel their own emotions (including me).

BUT the point is there will always be more time. And time will most usually always heal things because it puts everything into perspective after you’ve removed yourself from the intense emotions that come with tragedy and grief.

Xoxo

ROMANTIQUE

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I’m feeling super sentimental and warm right now while listening to my new Spotify playlist, Romantique. It consists of a lot of Brigitte Bardot, and other popular french love songs. It really takes me to a different time. A time that I haven’t ever experienced, and with the way social media and phones in particular have molded our world, will never see in my life time.

This french music that seems to alter my mood relaxes every bone in my body. Lately, specifically the past two days, I have been filled to the brim with anxiety. I am embarking on a new journey into adulthood tomorrow. I am officially moving into my first apartment! I’m more nervous for the whole school thannnng. This summer has been wild. Dope to be in fact. But I know that isn’t fully proper english. And I’m an English major so I have to be on my shit.

As you can see my writing style may have changed, it’s been awhile. But I, for some reason, got a sudden burst of energy to write down all my feelings. Maybe it was the sweet jams of old french music. I want to be more conversational and relaxed on here. I have recently been too lazy to write in my journal, so I’ve been writing everything I feel down in my notes on my iPhone. One day (hopefully) I will transfer everything down. I want to and I NEED to. As much as this is an outlet for writing my current emotions down, it has also been a journal of my life in a way. Although the posts haven’t been my deepest darkest secrets (do I even have any?), I have been able to look back on my growth as I’ve changed as a person. How amazing! And a few of you have been along on the way. So this hopefully will bid adieu to the past, and welcome a future for this blog. Or just an outlet to read the perspectives on a now 19 (woohoo!) year old’s thoughts on life, and how crazy everything can seem.

Being able to read other people’s thoughts and inner dialogues, whether it be facebook or an actual website, lets me reevaluate and understand the world around me. That’s why I believe writing, in ANY form, has such a valued and strong impact. Scoff scoff to all the people who laugh at English majors, or any other major besides Business. How do you think you function daily without understand, reading, and comprehending everything in front of you? Yeah, it’s not so silly after all. I want to be able to write down how I feel and change or enhance someone’s perspective, because in the end, all that matters is people. And lately I have felt so out of touch with the more creative and thoughtful person I know I can be! Cell phones, and tv have got me wasting my days away. How do you feel? Want to have a chat about literally anything? I’m bored. I don’t know.

Xoxo

I AM ME, YOU ARE YOU

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Recently, after entering the most challenging (yet rewarding) literature class, I have realized a few of my passions. Coming from a small town background, I was never subjected to ‘cat-calling’ or behavior like that from men. Since moving to a large city I have realized the emphasis men have on women’s bodies, and how that is all you can be seen as. Just a BODY. A freakin’ body. That’s what *some* men condense women to: the intelligence, strength, passionate warriors we are, to our bodies. I understand attractiveness and how important beauty can be in our society and in relationships, but being subjected to the size of my body- is very demeaning. And uncomfortable. I never realized that based on the size of certain body parts that I was born with I could give off the ‘wrong impression’ or allow men to stare at me in an uncomfortable/rude/scary way would be my reality, but it IS real. And that’s where my journey of feminism began.

I want to share my passion for body-positivity and self-love with anyone I can reach. Realizing your wealth and value to society is so so important. Although it is a long journey, I’m working on it. That’s all we can do- is try. Try to see our beauty and importance in ourselves, because we ALL belong. We all have value, and are all uniquely beautiful (mind, body, and soul).

I decided to take an old lipstick to write on my mirror ‘I’m a babe’. I wanted to write a mantra that encompassed more than just commenting on my outward beauty. I am a babe. I’m strong, intelligent, and capable. We’re all babes- guy or girl- you are a BABE. Every time I look in the mirror I try and remember to affirm what I am, even though I may not believe it at the time, it has actually worked. I find myself commenting less on my appearance, especially negative comments. It doesn’t even have to be about your body, just try to think of the insecurities that circle around in your head. Their just thoughts. They don’t have to have power unless YOU give them power. Find a mantra that you can believe in and say whenever you put yourself down.

I can’t stress enough that thoughts are only words. Saying ‘I look fat’ will in turn make you actually believe you are fat. It’s just bad juju you are bringing into your head because society has conditioned you to believe you are different or wrong. Once you catch yourself saying a negative thought, recognize it and shut it down. The more you recognize your harmful words-the easier it is to stop saying it.

So I challenge you to find a powerful mantra to repeat over and over again, to get one step closer into LOVING and ACCEPTING the body/mind/soul you were given. Because you are beautiful and capable of self-love. It’s possible, I promise. Start today beauties.

Xoxo

BEING ME

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Lately I have been struggling with the old me and a new me forming. A new me I may not like…

The first year of college has been one of the most eye opening, and hardest years of my life. It has brought me a new sense of joy and independence, but also showed me the deepest point of dependence and longing for home and the past. 

I have found myself recently doing things I never would have imagined myself doing, which has excited the inner introvert in me- but also has me questioning if it’s right or wrong. Recently I noticed how self centered I can be without realizing it, and it hurts those around me. 

I finished The Four Agreements and it left me feeling very inspired and disheartened. I noticed how others affect me and how many people project their insecurities onto me, which only hurts me and ultimately them.

I was recently in a situation where I made a promise to a friend and let her down simply because I wanted to keep doing what -I- wanted to do. 

It’s so crazy what we can see when we are self-aware. It can be important to have a mental and emotional check up every once in awhile to see how you’re feeling, and how the people in your life are affecting you positively and negatively. Maybe you can fix a few things about yourself to make your relationships stronger. Maybe we all just need to open our eyes to love and live even more. 

THE HUMAN

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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: a guide book to the happiest version of yourself. I have recently been reading this book, and it has opened my eyes in a way I never thought possible. Each day, I am learning more about who I am and how I want to project myself into the world, and it turn how I want others to receive and treat me.

(I highly recommend this book to everyone. Right now. Go get it)

There is a section in the book regarding the idea of freedom, and how the human race has gotten it wrong. I won’t spoil it, but basically we aren’t free. We have the option to choose to be free, but getting to that point can be difficult- especially how our minds today are so consumed and distracted by all of the modern issues and fallacies around us. It got me thinking- what do I really love to do? Why don’t I do it more? Why do we have to section off time in the day to really get to do what we want? Why, after I finish this assignment, will I get the reward of being happy?

So, I am taking the time to think about what I love. What makes me the happiest, what gives me life. I love to write, read, talk to people, and make connections through being outside and traveling. Why do I spend so much time dreaming about happiness, when I have the power to make it happen?

I challenge everyone to think about what they love, make a list even. Go throughout an average day, and see what you spend most of your time on. For me, I watch way too much Tv. I honestly think I’m addicted. I want to slowly spend time and energy transitioning my bad habits over to time spent on adventures and moments that bring me true happiness. Try to find parts of your day that you could swap for better used time, to make you a happier and healthier version of yourself.

Xoxo

WORK IN PROGRESS.

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Welcome back. 

I have to say welcome for you and for me! It’s a new year, use it wisely. Time is of the essence this year… make the best of 2016.

I took a long break from writing. Mostly to be fully in the present with family and friends over the holidays. Also, I was extra extra lazy when I went home. I’m a student, I have an excuse right?!

The 39 day break I had was an extended period of time for me to think a lot about everything. I mostly thought about my growth, and what I learned in my first semester of college. Which I have realized is A LOT! I thought a lot about how I have grown as an individual and how I have become more of who I am and want to be, and am slowly but surely maturing away from a dramatic teenage girl.

The new year definitely brings everyone a lot of promise, and can feel as a “new slate” for everything. And I think that thought is super powerful, if used correctly. With all our infamous new years resolution pushed aside, 2016 can finally be your ‘year’. If you’re willing to commit, this year can be it. I feel like we are progressively getting more positive and the ideas of loving yourself are trending topics among society right now. This means it is as easy as ever to make the best of every day, and of every problem we face.

I have adopted a “say yes to everything” mindset. Not literally (if I am in for the night most likely you can’t tear me from my bed) but you get it. I have realized how when I look back in the past, the times I said no for whatever reason- was always when I felt fomo (fear of missing out) and ate my feelings while watching Netflix. Which is SO stupid. Honestly. Saying yes to every opportunity you get (however out of your comfort zone it is) will ignite a spark of energy in you. Meeting new people and going new places gives me energy, and I promise saying yes is just the first step in making memories.

All we have is memories, so make the most out of life. As cliche as it sounds: you won’t remember the time you stayed in bed. Choose to make memories. Choose to do good, it will only have a positive impact on your mind body and soul. I promise

Xoxo

 

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“The only way that we can grow, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only we can change is if we learn. The only way we can change is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” 

-C. Joybell

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

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Wow, that’s a very serious and dark title. I’m not fighting a battle that I’m finally clearing up, but I do want to talk about a lifelong journey. The journey to ourselves, more specifically the journey to finding out me. By me. 

A very personal topic, but I try to generally be a very open person. It forces me to be friendly, and give new friends and accquatinces the real version of myself that I present to the world. 

When I was younger, around middle school I was so lost. I talked about this in a recent post, but I want to go into further detail. I honestly didn’t know who I was at all. I had a lot of friends, nice things, and I was “popular”. That word holds no meaning in life once you break free from high school, and I wish someone would have told me none of it mattered. None of the fighting, none of the heartbreak, none of the countless arguments that tore me farther and farther away from reality. I fought the system of life, and I fought anyone who was close to me. After any argument or fight (whether it be a family member or friend), I was back at square one again. I felt so alone I was severely depressed at times, and it forced me to take out my sadness on the ones I loved. A cycle that never ended, because I never saw what I was doing to myself. Until it finally broke. 

Cue high school. Freshman year. The first time the cycle broke, and I actually was alone. I had lost a majority of the friends I once had, because they were finally fed up with the pain our friendship had put them through. I’m not saying I caused all of the arguments (middle school was rough for most of the girls I was around) but I would pin most of the blame on me. I was so scared and alone because I felt like I had nothing. It’s in those dark times when you really have to make a decision. To change, to promise you’ll be better. Nicer. More compassionate. It was in ninth grade I made the beginning, baby steps toward the person I am today. 

It was a rough four years, until it wasn’t anymore. Senior year was my happiest year, because I finally became the person I had been working so hard to become. (In the next post I will discuss how I did this). Although I am always growing and changing into new and better versions of myself, I believe I have a mold that I generally stick towards and doesn’t change. That’s what I made in senior year, and am still that person today. A person who wants all they can get out of life, and wants the ones they love to share in the experiences along the way. 

I wanted to share my journey of self discovery/self awareness because it’s been a long time coming. 

I am constantly creating new versions of myself. I am different from four years ago, four months ago, four weeks ago, and even four days ago. We are all growing, learning, and changing every day. This means we all have the opportunity to change. To change into the ideal version of you, that you have always wanted. I don’t mean this physically (that’s what I was thinking aka I need to hit the gym) but mentally and spiritually. I wanted to give you a context on me, and my back story of how I found myself. It’s been a lot of me time, and a lot of time working/reading/and writing on my own. It helps that I like being alone, but sometimes it felt lonely. Remember the difference between being alone and being lonely, and remember there are always people who love you. And when you realize those people, don’t let them go. They will help you discover who you are and what you want most out of life. Love yourself first. 

Xoxo

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Goodnight lovelies, wherever you are. Whether it’s morning or night for you right now, make today great. I’m going to bed with a full heart and an eager mind to tackle tomorrow wholly. (My mind may be a bit too eager to sleep, sorry roommates). 

Tomorrow is your chance to complete something you’ve always wanted to, or to start a new task you have been dreaming about. My advice is to write out everything you want to get accomplished, with the most meaningful at the top. Take the hardest, most time consuming tasks and complete them first. This will free up your mind and body, and get you excited to do the easier and more fun activities. Crossing an activity off your list will be motivating and you will feel successful. This always excites me, and gives me a good outline for what I want to accomplish in the day. 

I have written about this idea before, but it really works for me and I can’t stress it enough. Visually seeing what you have to do in the day puts into perspective your hard and easy tasks, and how much time you have in the day for work/relaxation/fun.

Take advantage of the next day ahead, and try to cross off as many activities off your list as you can. Believe in yourself, and the world will echo back. 

Xoxo